I would like feedback and helpful criticism please. I would to know what people think of my writing and I would like ideas on what I can do to improve it. I am also willing to answer questions about the setting, story and characters in the comments section provided it doesn't go into spoiler territory.
The girl gets to her feet and looks around her.
~~~
The girl gets to her feet and looks around her.
An alley, a dirty old alley of a city. That’s what
this place is.
Something is wrong with me. I know that much.
She knows that
there is something wrong with her. It feels like that are large gaps in her
mind.
Except it feels like most of was there is gone
rather than just some of it. Like the gaps isn’t what is missing, but what isn’t
remaining.
Like her name
or who she is. The girl can’t remember either of those.
Who am I? Guardian. I remember a Guardian and a
David. They are same weren’t they? I think so. David was Guardian, but Guardian
wasn’t just David. And I’m a legacy. But was it Guardian’s or David’s legacy?
But I am without a name and I feel like I need one. I’m a legacy so I’m Legacy.
And I’m the legacy of Guardian so that makes me Legacy of Guardian.
That is who
she is the girl decides.
If anyone asks me who I am, I’ll be Legacy Guardian.
Now what?
Legacy looks
at herself. No clothes. She should find some as something in the back of her
mind tells she should have something to cover herself up. For protection in
this chilly, freezing weather and slushy solid water.
I got black hair. I can see it on my shoulders. My
eyes or face? I don’t know what they look like. Is that wrong? To be able to
see a picture of one and not know it is you? As for my body, I’m healthy and
got what? Curves? That what I think is the correct word for my body’s form. Fit
and healthy with curves. Yeah, I think that’s what you would call my body.
She feels
something at the back of her mind. Not a just voice or feeling, but something
more that isn’t quite there. Legacy can only really get one thing from it.
Syncing. What does it mean syncing? Why is it
syncing?
Legacy looks
around for a source of clothing. Not that she can remember any of them.
There! Containers of old stuff. I can’t remember the
word, but it has stuff people don’t want any more. And that means they won’t
mind if I take stuff from them. I need it after all and they don’t want it so
it’s okay?
She briefly
looks through the black plastic container until she finds some torn denim
legwear and a stained white sheet of cloth.
She puts on
the legwear. It fits her rather well. A bit loose, but that is fine as she has
nothing better. As for the cloth, Legacy wraps it around her upper body and
ties the ends in a knot at the side.
That should hold it.
Now what?
Legacy has
clothes now so that’s solved. She isn’t thirsty so she doesn’t need liquid.
What now?
Fight evil
says the thing at the back of Legacy’s mind. Legacy mulls over it for a moment.
Might as well. Not like I have anything else to do.
But what is evil? I guess I’ll know it when I see it
or at least I hope I do.
Legacy walks
down the alley. There are windows with hanging sheets of cloth on the buildings.
She
can’t help, but wonder what’s behind them.
Bedrooms maybe? Or the rooms where people cook
something I cannot remember?
Legacy reaches
the end of the alley. A road lies before her. She looks up at glowing half-
circle in the sky, surrounded by dots of light amidst the dark sky.
Is that the sun? I don’t know that as well. I think
the sun is a circle so that might be half the sun?
A large metal
device with someone inside goes pass Legacy on the road rather quickly.
Certainly faster than Legacy could run. She might know much, but she knows enough
that she should avoid getting in the way of those. Getting hit by one would be
bad for her.
Legacy walks
across the road into the alley on the other side of it. More black plastic
containers of unwanted items. Legacy is tempted to look into them, but she
doesn’t know what to look for at this moment.
But something
catches Legacy’s eye. A rusty pipe about the size of her arm.
I know
what that is! And what’s it’s used for! A weapon, probably thrown away due to
being damaged.
Legacy is
excited at finally knowing what something is. In her excitement, Legacy decides
to take it as her own weapon. Despite whatever reason its old owner had to
discard it, Legacy is currently unarmed.
She grabs the
pipe from its position at the side of container. Legacy gives it a couple of
swishes through the air before deciding it is good enough for her use.
Legacy
continues down the alley until she reaches a turn. Now faced with the choice of
either going left or continuing onward, Legacy decides to take the left turn
Still no one
about or least anyone Legacy can see. She can hear another of one of those fast
metal boxes nearby, but out of sight.
Perhaps evil is harder to find than I originally thought.
Legacy is
halfway down this alley when she hears a male voice.
“Got the dough
pal? Because you ain’t getting nothing without it.”
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