I would like feedback and helpful criticism please. I would to know what people think of my writing and I would like ideas on what I can do to improve it. I am also willing to answer questions about the setting, story and characters in the comments section provided it doesn't go into spoiler territory.
The girl gets to her feet and looks around her.
The girl gets to her feet and looks around her.
An alley, a dirty old alley of a city. That’s what this place is.
Something is wrong with me. I know that much.
She knows that there is something wrong with her. It feels like that are large gaps in her mind.
Except it feels like most of was there is gone rather than just some of it. Like the gaps isn’t what is missing, but what isn’t remaining.
Like her name or who she is. The girl can’t remember either of those.
Who am I? Guardian. I remember a Guardian and a David. They are same weren’t they? I think so. David was Guardian, but Guardian wasn’t just David. And I’m a legacy. But was it Guardian’s or David’s legacy? But I am without a name and I feel like I need one. I’m a legacy so I’m Legacy. And I’m the legacy of Guardian so that makes me Legacy of Guardian.
That is who she is the girl decides.
If anyone asks me who I am, I’ll be Legacy Guardian.
Legacy looks at herself. No clothes. She should find some as something in the back of her mind tells she should have something to cover herself up. For protection in this chilly, freezing weather and slushy solid water.
I got black hair. I can see it on my shoulders. My eyes or face? I don’t know what they look like. Is that wrong? To be able to see a picture of one and not know it is you? As for my body, I’m healthy and got what? Curves? That what I think is the correct word for my body’s form. Fit and healthy with curves. Yeah, I think that’s what you would call my body.
She feels something at the back of her mind. Not a just voice or feeling, but something more that isn’t quite there. Legacy can only really get one thing from it.
Syncing. What does it mean syncing? Why is it syncing?
Legacy looks around for a source of clothing. Not that she can remember any of them.
There! Containers of old stuff. I can’t remember the word, but it has stuff people don’t want any more. And that means they won’t mind if I take stuff from them. I need it after all and they don’t want it so it’s okay?
She briefly looks through the black plastic container until she finds some torn denim legwear and a stained white sheet of cloth.
She puts on the legwear. It fits her rather well. A bit loose, but that is fine as she has nothing better. As for the cloth, Legacy wraps it around her upper body and ties the ends in a knot at the side.
That should hold it. Now what?
Legacy has clothes now so that’s solved. She isn’t thirsty so she doesn’t need liquid.
Fight evil says the thing at the back of Legacy’s mind. Legacy mulls over it for a moment.
Might as well. Not like I have anything else to do.
But what is evil? I guess I’ll know it when I see it or at least I hope I do.
Legacy walks down the alley. There are windows with hanging sheets of cloth on the buildings. She
can’t help, but wonder what’s behind them.
Bedrooms maybe? Or the rooms where people cook something I cannot remember?
Legacy reaches the end of the alley. A road lies before her. She looks up at glowing half- circle in the sky, surrounded by dots of light amidst the dark sky.
Is that the sun? I don’t know that as well. I think the sun is a circle so that might be half the sun?
A large metal device with someone inside goes pass Legacy on the road rather quickly. Certainly faster than Legacy could run. She might know much, but she knows enough that she should avoid getting in the way of those. Getting hit by one would be bad for her.
Legacy walks across the road into the alley on the other side of it. More black plastic containers of unwanted items. Legacy is tempted to look into them, but she doesn’t know what to look for at this moment.
But something catches Legacy’s eye. A rusty pipe about the size of her arm.
I know what that is! And what’s it’s used for! A weapon, probably thrown away due to being damaged.
Legacy is excited at finally knowing what something is. In her excitement, Legacy decides to take it as her own weapon. Despite whatever reason its old owner had to discard it, Legacy is currently unarmed.
She grabs the pipe from its position at the side of container. Legacy gives it a couple of swishes through the air before deciding it is good enough for her use.
Legacy continues down the alley until she reaches a turn. Now faced with the choice of either going left or continuing onward, Legacy decides to take the left turn
Still no one about or least anyone Legacy can see. She can hear another of one of those fast metal boxes nearby, but out of sight.
Perhaps evil is harder to find than I originally thought.
Legacy is halfway down this alley when she hears a male voice.
“Got the dough pal? Because you ain’t getting nothing without it.”